Tyres, caravans, one two three four five. Living in caravans and counting is the new being tall and pointing.

Betty's showband is not good (shake head slowly to emphasise the point). Betty's cat is not good either. He keeps staring at me in a menacing way. I wrote the words 'I'm Grey' on a window. This has nothing to do with Betty's cat, despite what Betty might tell you. She keeps saying, "What would Sting do in this situation?" I once put a bucket on my head and walked into a wall and a flowerpot fell on the bucket. She said, "Sting wouldn't have done that." I said, "Yeah, well that's why I did it." But it wasn't.

Band: Crayonsmith.

Crayonsmith is the music of Ciaran Smith. You might have seen him and his band on Deis Roc on Irish language TV. Or you might not have. They're better than standing on a van and saying 'aha!' to the people who said you couldn't out-run a pig. They're much better than living in a caravan.

Website:

http://www.crayonsmith.com