Now they're being chased by the rabid dog. Ha! 'Ha!' is the new 'ow!'.

The last sentence is being re-made for a modern audience: I've got a squirrel on my head.

The squirrel on my head undermines what I said about 'ha!' being the new 'ow!'.

Band: Bell X1

Album: Flock

Donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey. I give it ten donkeys and they're kicking the crap out of the six pandas their last album got.

Website:

http://www.bellx1.com/

I wrote a poem about my forehead. It won an award. I was only joking when I dedicated the award to my shoulders, but no one laughed.

I got the following letter from a fan:

Dear Grey,

There's a flower and there's a wall. They have a shed. I've got a pet weasel. It writes songs. They have they and I have Dave (the weasel), even though Dave has run away with a cat that he thinks is a female weasel. I don't know what the cat thinks.

Your Sincerely,

Jenny.

To answer your question, my neighbour, Samantha, has been telling a plastic flower all about her pet fish, and the fish is plastic too. I think she's just confused, because yesterday she told my shoulder that she liked the poem it wrote about my garden. This is probably what the cat thinks too.

Band: The Frank and Walters.

Album: Souvenirs.

The Frank and Walters write songs. Most other bands just inadvertantly poke themselves in the eye with an envelope when they try to write songs.

Website:

http://www.thefrankandwalters.ie/

Look at the peacock (it's actually a cat with a little hat). Stop looking at the peacock now (the cat is eating a spider).

I'm waltzing what's-her-name until she remembers what her name is. She doesn't know my name either, but then I've never known her hair's name and her hair wrote an opera about itself, which I've seen. She says I'm a ___. I don't want to repeat that word. She says I just can't remember that word because I'm a ___.

Band: Autamata

Album: Short Stories

Single: Liberty Bell

Carol Keogh's voice on 'Liberty Bell' makes other singers sound as if they're auditioning to play a spoon in a musical about a monkey who glues himself to a sink in protest, and refuses to admit that he's forgotten what he's protesting about.

Website:http://www.autamatamusic.com/